I was laid off about two months ago & for the first few weeks life was grand. I had money, Aidan & I went places, it was a great time. Now however, I’m going out of my mind. I feel like I’m living in the movie ground hog day and I am slowly, very slowly on the downhill slide to insanity.
I love my son more than life itself, that needs no explanation, but work was my way of getting out of the house, and having “Dawn” time. Now when I leave the house I have Aidan in tow, & more often than not I’m frazzled & under caffeinated. This double combo in & of itself is terrible, now add a two year old monster & it becomes my own living hell.
I try to get out of the house as much as possible with him. We go to the park, the library, the zoo, shopping, out for walks, even drives to nowhere in the car. I am always busy with him, & even when we aren’t out we are in & doing something. So why do I feel like I’m on the brink of insanity?
I’m starting to feel like a terrible mom, I feel like I’m abnormal because I want to run out of the house running & screaming for my life half of the time. I don’t know how full-time stay at home moms do it. They seriously are MY heroes.
This coming up month I have a wedding, a Yankees game, a 9/11 stair climb, & am attending the Highland Games. All of these activities take me away from my son and I couldn’t be more excited about all of them. Selfish right? Do I sound like a monster yet? I don’t care. I have earned it. I need this time alone with my husband & friends to appreciate my alone time with my son again. I need this time to recharge, or whatever nonsense you want to call it because if I don’t I may seriously need to be put in a padded room & locked up.